The Essence of Enoughness

What exactly is “enoughness?”  It’s literally the feeling of being enough (it is to me anyway).  I work with so many female entrepreneurs in my coaching sessions and time again the same topics come up.  This is one of the main culprits.  So when someone asked me about how to overcome imposter syndrome this week I thought I would put together a little blog post about the importance of enoughness, how to create it, cultivate it and why it’s not about “faking it until you make it”.

Deep down in most people is an innate insecurity, a feeling of unworthiness, not-good-enough and will-never-measure-up-ness.  It’s this that stops many people from creating the art that they want to create and that fuels the envy and jealousy that is rife in modern day society as we compare ourselves to the entrepreneur-next-door.  But how would things change if we really believed deep down that we were enough?  That we don’t have to compete and compare?  That there is not just one talented person out there in our industry, there’s room for all of us, that we all have a space, we all have a voice.  The word that sums this up is abundance.

There is a never-ending fountain of creativity and we can all learn something from one another.  We are not better because of our number of followers or amount of money in the bank, our self worth is certainly not defined by our net worth.  What if you considered yourself good enough, right now, exactly as you are.  Yes you with only 15 followers on Instagram (what makes you think your popularity will make you happier – often it makes people compromise who they are in order to keep up their number).  Yes you, who has only ever had one client project (your number of clients does not define your sense of happiness).  Yes you, hustling and working full time whilst creating your business on the side (without a penny to your brand) – you want to be the next big thing, perhaps start by being the real deal – and by that, I mean being true to yourself.

Don’t be tempted to fall for the whole “fake it till you make it” thing. Trust me, nothing good comes from faking anything. Ever faked an orgasm? Then you’ll know that once you do that you’re stuck in a cycle of fake it until you admit it – you’re best off being honest from the get-go. You don’t need to fake something to be successful, once you embrace the truth you can start from where you are.

Usually when we are comparing we are comparing our status, our popularity, our “success” but success is essentially being happy in your own skin – exactly as you are.  Not striving for greatness but settling for satisfaction and intrinsic self-confidence.  That’s what I call enoughness.  How can we achieve the elusive enoughness?  Here are the tried and tested ways that I believe work best:

Trust in Abundance – there is enough for all of us – share, support, connect, uplift – create community not rivalry

Stop Trying to Impress Others – don’t focus on them, listen to your inner voice

Perfection is the enemy of Authenticity– stop aiming for perfect and don’t wait until you are ready – the time to begin is now

Show Vulnerability – don’t be afraid to be afraid.  Just take a step forward and embrace the uncertainty – have courage to show yourself and show up as you are

Show Some Love – we are so hard on ourselves, chastising our every mistake.  Go easy on yourself, be kind to yourself – write yourself a love letter to remind yourself what makes you great

Find Your Friends – those who will lift you and support you, love you and accept you – not those who thinly disguise their put-downs and pull-aparts

Accept Insecurity – Lastly, accept and surrender to feeling this way occasionally.  Let yourself feel the doubt and the insecurity and then tell it to fuck off.  After all, it’s probably an old belief (that may have been a “gift” from someone else in your history who kindly re-gifted it for you), it’s not your belief – choose to thank it (for protecting you) then bin it and move forward with grace and strength.

Imposter – I’m Post Her – put that woman behind you.

Move forwards with your life with trust and courage.

You are enough.